i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
