Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
