Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
