I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
