ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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