Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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