Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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