eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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