If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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