She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize