I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
