butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
