I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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