I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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