My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
