I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
