epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize