I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You were trust falling into bushes
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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