update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
