I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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