I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
zippers are such a cool invention
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
