everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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