i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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