you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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