dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
