My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
