hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
