It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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