She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's shark week go big or go home
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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