She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
