What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize