its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
