If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
