I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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