There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize