I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
