I'm really into asian looking animals
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's official drugs can't kill me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize