Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
