Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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