It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
