I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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