You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so let's talk penis.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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