Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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