It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
