Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
