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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
