dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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