That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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