nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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