dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This girl is more easily done than said...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
