im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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