Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
