the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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