Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The Olympian is in my bed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
