What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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