I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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