I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wear drunk well.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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