Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize