so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize