So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Two words: blizzard sex
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Drunk is not a location!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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