Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
