You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
