I feel like abortions should bother me more
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
