I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
