You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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